What I Need You To Know......

As I sat there rocking Jackson to sleep, I was really struck at how big he has already gotten. Allowing my mind to wander, I began thinking of my own life and the brevity of life in general. I remembered like yesterday how thirty was old. It seems like I just graduated high school, yet my ten year reunion is this year. This train of thought led me to really ask myself what it was that I wanted for Jackson in these very short years that we have here on earth. I want a lot for him, but if I had only one thing to choose, one bit of advice or wisdom that I could give him, what would it be? Rocking Jackson in my arms made me think of my unfailing love for him and immediately I knew what it was. So the remainder of this is what I wrote for him. I wrote this for my baby boy, the one that stole my heart just 7 months ago.

Jackson,
Baby, you are only 7 months old, yet as I sit here in our rocking chair I can’t believe how the time has gone. I don’t know where it goes, I just know it goes fast. I was just overcome by the love that I feel for you already, and I needed to write this to you, or I feared my heart just might burst if I didn’t get it out. I wanted to tell you the one thing that I need you to know. Don’t worry we will talk about this a lot as you grow, but I needed to say it now, before you can even understand me. I know there are so many things as a parent I want for you and to teach you, but there is one thing that I want more than all the rest. Jackson, more than anything, I want you to know the love of the Savior, Jesus. More than even health or happiness or security, I pray that you know Him. Through everything, he has weathered the storms with me, and he is the only thing that is constant. He never changes and he never leaves us, even when we may take our eyes off of Him. I need you to know the peace and the joy that I have in Him. I speak of the brevity of life, only to point you to Him who gave his life for us. He is the way the truth and the life. It is Him alone who saves, and Him alone who is the Way. I know in the midst of the craziness of life, through sickenss and pain, struggle and hard times, I have one constant, and that is knowing Jesus’ love and the one hundred percent assurance that I will be with him in heaven. Though this life is brief, we have the gift of eternal life if only we choose Him. He offers this invitation to everyone. He says “For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” More than anything I want you to know His love, because though mine will fail you, His never will.
I love you with all the love I have,
Mom